Ultra Vires

UV-Full-Logo-White-Text-Transparent-Background-1024x251

Yak’s Snack Review

,

Photos by Rachel Chan.

The results are in

We at U of T Law have our differences. We have different backgrounds, divergent political alignments, and diverse career aspirations. But, despite these differences, we all agree on one thing: we love free food.

Or wait—do we? We asked, and in UV’s most-responded-to poll of all time [Editor’s note: False], we got a resounding “maybe.” No wait—actually, we got highly polarized, passionately stated opinions, with no hint of compromise.

Never change, fellow students. Never change.

Survey demographics

We received an even one hundred responses. They were evenly split by year.


Do you like Yak’s Snacks?

While 76 responses answered “Yes” and 14 answered “No,” we received some rather interesting responses:

“I mean, I won’t say no to free food.”

“All Hail Our Culinary Overlords, the St. George Catering Co.”

“Yak’s Snacks is just sugar and carbs… Excess sugar is linked to depression. Law school is also definitely linked to depression. Yak trying to give us depression confirmed.” —Ernie Tam


Best Yak’s Snack: Fruits 22%

Favourite Snack and Why?

Yak:

“Yak, because he is the real snack.”

“Dean Yak looking like a Snack ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

“Because Yakdaddy is my Snackdaddy <3”

“Yak is original OG snack ;)” —Teng Rong

“Have you seen the man?”

“Yak’s clear discomfort around 20-year-olds is a beacon of sunshine on cold winter mornings”

Cinnamon Buns:

Yummy yummy in my tummy”

Shrub:

“I like shrubs”

“Just look at it, heck of a snack”

“It’s not like you went in expecting it to be edible”

“Shrub”

Fruits:

“Middle-Class fancy” —Greg G.

Bagels:

“It’s worth note that these are not really bagels. Real bagels are from Montreal and covered in sesame seeds. These ‘bagels’ are an Americanized bastardization of a sacred breadstuff. Notwithstanding the former, they are close enough to still get top marks amongst the snacks.” —William Mazurek

Fruits:

“Fruit salad, yummy yummy.”

Coffee:

“Law students need coffee to function”

Muffins:

“It tastes like love”

The editors of this poll wish to note their unequivocal belief that this responder has never known love.


Worst Yak’s Snack: Bagels 25%

Worst snack and why:

Danishes:

“They are dry and make me feel sad.”

“I don’t trust the danishes. Not one bit” —Jen Crawford

Cinnamon Rolls:

“Literally, where in the f* is the frosting? I pay 38K in tuition, at least give me some cinnabon type shiet.”

Coffee:

“Coffee is consistently burnt every single time. I am wondering if there is charcoal sitting at the bottom of each container.”

Tea:

“Like my personal life tea is a watery disappointment, completely devoid of substance and flavour. England bestowed upon us many great institutions—Westminster Parliament, Common Law, Commemorative Spoon Collecting—yet abjectly failed insofar as hot stimulants.” —William Mazurek

The editors of this poll wish to recognize that tea was not “bestowed upon us” by England: It was bestowed upon us by the various peoples that England plundered it from.

“Tea is for SNAILS”

Croissants:

“I only eat croissants when in France. All other croissants are sub-par.”

“Yo. Butter those things up. I want my croissant to have so much oil the US military-industrial complex takes notice.” —Teng Rong

Bagels:

“Give me St. Viateur or give me death!” —Tom Collins

“Untoasted bagels are the devil’s favourite snack.” —Ioana Dragalin

“It’s pronounced ‘cardboardhydrates’”

Ziiiiiing

“They are dry. As dry as this poll’s humour.”

Why thank you. We’re flattered.

Scones:

“Wtf is a scone”

“Who the hell likes scones”

Yogurt and Granola:

“It objectively had the grossest picture in the Google form” —Gurvir

When Dean Yak isn’t there :’(

“Having Yak’s Snacks without Dean Yak is wack”


General Comments Sorted By Interest

Love Yak’s Snacks

“Yak’s snacks is my favorite surprise in the morning!”

“I love Yak’s snacks! I like it best when the dean is facing away from the food table so that I can sneak extra plates of fruit without attracting his disappointed glare.”

“Sometimes I am skeptical; I think that Yak’s Snacks is just a way to appease the students’ complaints about tuition. And I wonder if the money spent on danishes couldn’t be better used. But then I also think of the students who might be struggling to make ends meet; for them, Yak’s Snacks might be a real treat. So, I let my skepticism fade into optimism.” —Tom Collins

Different Hours

“Is there a brunch option?”

“Why is Yak’s snacks always at random times when no one is already at school? Pick better times so I can come and eat your snacks <3”

“I NEVER get to eat them. They have never worked with my schedule and I’m a 3L. One time I snuck out of class to get my fix and brought it back to class and that was a thrill.”

Healthier Snacks

“Please have some vegan pastries or baked goods!!!”

“Could use maybe a few healthy options outside of fruit?”

Fancier Snacks

“Where is the breakfast charcuterie????” —Greg G.

“We need a fancy “snack of the month” here. Like they did in the 18th century with rental-pineapples. Let’s have the rental-pineapple equivalent. Maybe gold foil covered mini chocolate Yak figurines. Idk, whatever 40k a year can buy. Go crazy.”

“Can we get omelettes? Eggs? A personal chef? Don’t raise my tuition, but can we get some savoury foods up in here as opposed to desert masking as buffet? Thanks.”

More Snacks

“More Yak. More Snack.”

We Need A Toaster

“I’d love to see a toaster at Yak’s Snacks. I think this would elevate the bagels in a way that excites and inspires the student body.” —Jen Crawford

Different Provider

“Most of the desserts (muffins, danishes, scones, cinnamon rolls) taste bad. I don’t expect anything fancy (e.g. Tim Horton’s muffins are fine). I think the school should choose another food provider.”

Other

“I wish I could enjoy Yak’s Snacks without the fear of having to speak to Yak”

“Shrub”


Recent Stories